2010 was pretty shit, but also a very ... eyeopening year. I have done more things this year than in any other. I think this is the year I actually started to grow up.

I mean, as you'll see by my blogs, someone really truly broke my heart this year, and in all honesty, I'm still trying to come to terms with it. It's been 7 months now but I still replay every last detail in my head. It's sad really. I've met so many amazing new people and yet I cling onto someone who has hurt me beyond words.

2010 was definitely the year I fucked shit up. I lost friends, lost boyfriends, started smoking, and put all my lost weight back on again. I don't suppose those things matter now, they're kind of trivial, but I guess everything happens for a reason. Probably to teach me a lesson, but I never fucking learn from my mistakes, which is something I need to kick. I'd probably benefit from losing a stone and stopping smoking too. Meh.

Now I think about it, weirdly, 2010 was also when I properly made an effort to get a grip on my own life. I was working REALLY hard at school, like, studying every single day and sometimes through the night, and I got pretty good GCSE results. I then went on to work 7 different jobs.

I royally fucked things up at college between September and December and I hope I can salvage something. I just haven't been trying. I'd been skipping lessons to go take drugs and go shopping and have coffee and blah blah blah, it's fucking pathetic. I need to make an effort in college now, a proper effort.

2010
The last few weeks of Coombeshead.
Going to Dawlish...
Camping.
Parties.
Starting college.
Protests + occupations ♥
Gigs.

I mean, these things don't seem much at all. Not to you. But they do to me, they mean more to me than anyone, and I miss the memories and the people so much. I wish I could rewind and be 16 again and live all the memories again. I've fucked things up, things now are nowhere as good as they were. I want my old friends back. I'm actually sobbing as I write this, I really can't believe how much everything's changed. I don't want to grow up. I hate EVERYTHING that's going on right now. It's all gone to shit.

2011 had better be fucking incredible.
Fuck this.